Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Of Mothers and Daughters

Today, I thought something that I thought I'd never hear myself think. If that made any since at all.

I thought about having kids. I really want them. I want two; born no more than 2 years apart from each other. I don't want just any kids, I want two girls.

Two girls: Another thing that I never thought I'd say to myself. I have no idea how to raise a girl, yet alone two. What would I do with a girl. Half the time, I don't even know what I'm doing with myself.

I'd settle for a boy and a girl, though. As long as the boy comes first. But after some thought, I'd really like two girls.

I wonder what it'll be like. To have someone that can't do anything without me. Someone to love more than anything else in the world. Someone that is just a little piece of me, that I've let loose onto the world. Someone to share secrets with, that only mothers and daughters share. Someone to give those talks that only mothers give their daughters. Someone to share mother-daughter teas with. Someone to go to MAC and get makes overs with. Someone to dress up and go out to eat with. Some to talk to about secret crushes. You know, crap like that.

The most important thing is that she have a sister. I wanted one so bad growing up and I couldn't have it any other way for my daughter. I'll love to see them do things that just sisters do. Big sister getting annoyed my nosy little sister. Little sister idolizing big sister. A big sister to give dating advise to little sister. Big and little sisters who are best friends, no matter what. It'll be great.

If I were to have a baby girl right now. Honestly, I may cry more then she would. Just looking at her would evoke tears. Her little hands, and little feet and little bright eyes. I'd hold her and cry every night. But, why?

Maybe, for the same reason I cried tonight as I sat in my car:

I don't know why.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Be all I can be, huh?

OK, so in the past week I've talked to a Air National Guard Recruiter as well as a few advisers for the Air Force.

So far, my life is pretty f'ed up so I guess I should enlist. Then I can go to school or something. At least after its all over I'll have have a career that doesn't involve me asking people if they would like to add fries to their order.

The down side is that I'll have to take out my beloved piercings. And no more tattoos for a while. Their policies say that I can't have more than 25% of my body covered (and I think visible) in tattoos. So technically, I can have about 24.999% of myself cleverly inked up and not have to remove anything. Sweet...

The next decision is if I'd like to go into service full time or part-time.

Well Full time will get me:
  • A guaranteed 9-5.
  • An apartment on base or an allowance for an off-base place
  • Free School (On my on time, which sucks.)
  • Guaranteed cash every 1th and 15th.
  • Some over stuff..
  • Shipped off to war, possibly.
  • Moved around alot, maybe.
Part time in the reserves will get me:
  • 4 day's pay for 2 days of work. (That 1 weekend a month, 2 weeks a year stuff)
  • Free school (All those other days that I'm not working. Yay!)
  • Training and stuff
  • Over stuff that I can't remember.
I figure if I'm going to take my piercings out and enlist in something, I better do it all the way. I don't know. So I'm going to think about it. I have to lose 20 or so pounds first anyway.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Lets see what we can do

Well, I've attempted to customized this here blog. I've been teaching myself how to work with images using GIMP and Photoshop (both are awesome, by the way). I've used GIMP to make the few images on this site.

I made a lovely background and layout to use with this here blogger, but unfortunetely it doesn't work with Beta and I'm too lazy to go back to Classic Blogger. Other than the blogs being some picky about the code, Beta is pretty nice.

Oh, well. Like I said, I've been working on my website my teaching myself CSS, HTML along with those image programs. And I've been working on collecting content for said website, too. I'm trying to come up with a cool name for the site too.

So far, the website I'm building an info site for a few of my hobbies. Anime, cosplay, gothic culture, and all my other wierd hobbies. So I figure after I get the content done along with some pics, I am going to sponsor a few months on Meetup.com and hopefully get a group together and along the way, I'd like to build up my web presence.

The Meetup thing should go over very well. Like when I signed up for Anime meetup alerts, it asks me if I have an interest and other meetups like Japanese culture, cosplay, etc. When someone does sign up, everyone who previously signed up for alerts will be alerted. Same thing if a new group is founded.

Hopefully that made since and hopefully it will get a bunch of people go come to my site! Yay!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

First Post!

Hello world!

Here's another attempt at making a blog for myself. I actually like this service and this template, so I guess I may stick to it. I can get emotional and so I guess this is a good place to vent and get some stupid stuff off of my chest.

Any way, I'm going to report on my successes and my failures in my various activities. Right now, I'm fighting the battle of the bulge, I'm raging against financial aid, trying to find full time job and going back to school.

My ultimate goal is to become a Veterinarian. Basically, I'm started over at community college and hopefully by this time next year, I should have transferred to a 4 year university. Even after a graduate from there and I'm not accepted into a school, I'll still be happy because I made it through school (finally!). Besides, I can always reapply.

Also, if I do get any readers. Do you like this template or one above?